


aid for your heart

by spicyboyfriend



Series: thinkin' of u [2]
Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Amusement Parks, Awkward Dates, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, it's barely there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2017-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 19:53:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11767185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spicyboyfriend/pseuds/spicyboyfriend
Summary: Rustling. Soft rustling of clothes and the sheets around them, and the faintest of snores. That was what Yan An woke up to late in the morning one particular day.Changgu’s sun-kissed skin was the second.





	aid for your heart

**Author's Note:**

> wow look at this more yangu fluff are we even surprised at this point. this fic can be read as a standalone, but it is a semi-sequel to [snowlight] it's gonna be alright~
> 
> the inspo for this fic came from a prompt shared w/ me by my friend angela who doesnt have an ao3 account but i still want 2 give credit to anyways thank u angela ilu this took me forever but i finally wrote it lsdkgnlfs
> 
> title from [aid for your heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGdD5DIgs9c) by snail's house [again]

Rustling. Soft rustling of clothes and the sheets around them, and the faintest of snores. That was what Yan An woke up to late in the morning one particular day.

 

Changgu’s sun-kissed skin was the second.

 

The wrinkled sheets pulled over his waist, only hiding away his legs and hips; body curled into Yan An’s own, face pressed flush against his side; the undeniably gentle softness of his breath as his chest moved up with an inhale, down with an exhale— this was what Yan An woke up to late in the morning one particular day.

 

Yan An let out a deep breath, stretching his legs out just slightly, toes knocking against the wooden frame of his slightly small bed. Most of his pillows took up the space on the bed, and now that Changgu was coming over more often, he had even less space for his gangly limbs to relax in place.

 

It was worth it— entirely worth it— sacrificing the space on his bed, giving up just a little bit more of his blanket, hanging off the edge of the mattress every morning, so long as he could wake up in the mornings and see Changgu drooling beside him.

 

“Yan Anie,” Changgu grumbled, reaching out beside him and lazily dragging his palm across Yan An’s lap, tugging at his sweatpants and beckoning him back to bed. Yan An smiled, but didn’t move back. Instead, he stood up from the bed, walking into the bathroom down the hall and brushing his teeth first.

 

When he returned to his bedroom, he found Changgu lazily strewn across his bed, lying on his back and grinning sleepily when Yan An walked back in.

 

“Did you come back to cuddle?” Changgu opened his arms up, and Yan An let out a playful scoff.

 

“Actually, I came back for my phone.” Yan An walked to the side of the bed, unplugging his phone from the charger before he felt Changgu latching onto his back, pulling him down to the bed with a loud snort of laughter. Without even trying to get away, Yan An fell back, lying his head down in Changgu’s lap and feeling Changgu repositioning himself so he could keep him comfortable.

 

“Sleep well?” Changgu asked. Yan An smiled, nodded, and took Changgu’s hand within his own after he carded his fingers through the greasy locks of hair. He desperately had to shower, but Changgu hardly seemed to mind as he curled over and pressed a warm kiss to the middle of Yan An’s forehead. Yan An hummed an answer in confirmation to Changgu’s question. “Good.”

 

Truth be told, as much as Yan An liked to tease Changgu, this was where he wanted to be. This was what he wanted to be doing.

 

Lying in bed, cuddling close despite the fact that it was a hot summer morning; pretty soon they’d be sticky with sweat if Yan An didn’t turn on the air conditioning (he could finally afford to use it!)— nothing could ever compare to it. Nothing could compare to the tangle of their legs together, the way Changgu seemed to fit so easily in Yan An’s arms, how Changgu didn’t mind sometimes holding Yan An and pressing warm kisses to the back of his neck between promises to take care of him.

 

Nearly three months since they first became “official”, and Yan An had already met Changgu’s mother. Changgu hadn’t planned that, but his mother decided to make a surprise visit, as they hadn’t heard from him in quite some time, only to find Yan An coming out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his body, nervously trying to avoid Changgu, and instead, screaming at the sight of this strange woman in an apartment he wasn’t used to in the first place.

 

That was a mess and a half to explain. Changgu wasn’t sure if his mother still entirely understood.

 

Yan An embarrassingly sputtered out, “I love you,” one night after the two had finished eating a bowlful of noodles together, messy and greasy and unapologetically loud as they slurped their food down and watched TV together. Changgu was lying on the opposite end of the couch, his belly full. A loud sigh escaped Changgu before Yan An nudged him with his foot.

 

Thinking it was a game, Changgu kicked back, making Yan An yelp with a nervous laugh before saying _it_... in Mandarin. At first. Which actually didn’t make much of a difference. Changgu wasn’t fluent in the language, but he had taken up learning it from Yan An every now and again, and Hongseok offered to help as well when he had the time to. Changgu had even looked into taking a class, because he loved the way Yan An’s eyes lit up when he tripped over his tongue trying to speak a language that was familiar and comfortable to Yan An.

 

 _“Wo ai ni,”_ Yan An said, and then flushed bright red when Changgu met his gaze, lips parted just enough for Yan An to see the pink of his tongue. _“I-I mean... I meant to say I love you,”_ Yan An corrected himself in Korean, but Changgu had already moved off of his side of the couch. He crawled over Yan An’s legs, watched as Yan An tipped backwards, steadying himself on his elbows as Changgu peppered greasy kisses across his cheeks, the taste of noodles and beef still lingering on both of their lips as they kissed.

 

 _“Wo ai ni works just fine,”_ Changgu said when they pulled away.

 

“Anie,” Changgu said, catching Yan An off guard. He flinched, coming away from his memories and smiling up at Changgu. “You okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Yan An answered with hardly any hesitation. Yan An had work in an hour, and Changgu had to head back home before his afternoon classes. And he had to work closing shift at the restaurant he started at part time, which meant they wouldn’t be able to talk for most of the day, only exchanging a few texts when Changgu was feeling bored in class, and a good night text, though they would be stinted and off balance, as Changgu would go to bed later than Yan An would.

 

And maybe, possibly, perhaps Yan An would go out and buy Changgu a vase of flowers and leave them outside of his apartment, because he could imagine the way Changgu would smile when he found them, how rosy his cheeks would grow with embarrassment and fondness, and— yes, Yan An was definitely, certainly, positively going to buy Changgu flowers and leave them outside of his apartment.

 

“Cuddle with me before I have to leave?” Yan An said, Changgu placing a hand on his chest in feigned shock.

 

“Yan Anie, did you just ask me to cuddle with you?” Yan An rolled his eyes, Changgu messing with his hair. “This must be a first for our relationship. Should I call the press? A doctor? Are you sick? Is that why you asked?”

 

“Never mind, cuddle alone,” Yan An said, moving to stand up, but just as last time, Changgu pulled him back down, in a messy pile of giggles and playful teasing before they ended up comfortably slotted between one another, Yan An’s leg between Changgu’s own, nudging upward towards the warmth of his thighs.

 

“Normally I have to beg you to cuddle.” Changgu tangled his fingers in with Yan An’s shaggy hair. Every time Changgu did it, Yan An said he needed a haircut, but this time, he said nothing. “What’s wrong?”

 

Yan An pouted. “Nothing. Is it a crime for me to ask?”

 

“Never,” Changgu paused, flicking his fingertip across the tip of Yan An’s nose, “but you’ve got this look on your face.”

 

“That’s just my _face,”_ Yan An rebutted weakly.

 

“It’s a cute face.” Changgu pinched Yan An’s cheek. “Nice try. If you really don’t want to tell me....”

 

“It’s not that!” Yan An exclaimed under his breath, still pouting, still trying to hide himself away, as if he was embarrassed or something.

 

Whatever it was that was bothering him must have been really big... or really emotional. Yan An wasn’t particularly good at expressing his feelings sometimes. Every now and again, he’d find the words and overcome his hesitance to say it, but for the most part, Yan An was more actions than words— kisses over poems, buying dinner over “I love you”’s, pulling Changgu into his arms in his sleep instead of cuddling themselves into slumber.

 

“We... haven’t been on a date in a long time,” Yan An said, voice low and calculated, like if he raised it any higher, Changgu would run away from him. Changgu smiled, leaning in close and pressing his forehead to Yan An’s with a quiet giggle.

 

“Is that what’s bothering you?”

 

Yan An whined, batting Changgu’s hands away from his as he burst into quiet laughter. With every weak shove Yan An gave Changgu, Changgu returned by pulling Yan An into his arms, holding his head to Changgu’s chest and letting him hear his heartbeat for a moment.

 

“Wanna go on a date this weekend, then?” Changgu proposed.

 

“Ah, I just....” Yan An trailed off, unsure of how to say what he was thinking without coming off as a complete _baby,_ because as much as he really loved Changgu (and he _really_ loved him), there was something so embarrassing in admitting that he missed going out on dates with him.

 

Because it wasn’t _just_ that Yan An missed going out on dates, but he was afraid. He was so ridiculously, horribly afraid that Changgu, one day, would just... get bored with him. Leave him and find someone else, someone who _did_ take him out on cute dates and did things with him, and held his hand, and the idea made Yan An sick to his stomach and his head pound.

 

Changgu was a better person than that. Yan An _knew_ he was a better person than that.

 

He smiled at Yan An in the mornings and kissed his forehead, met him up for quick lunch dates, where they really only spared the time for languid kisses and coffee, despite the fact that both of their stomachs were grumbling. Changgu had ditched classes before, to spend time with Yan An, to curl up with him when he was sick and nurse him back to health, or sometimes, “just because”, which Changgu had said with a stupid happy grin before kissing Yan An’s cheek and intertwining their fingers together.

 

Changgu was so, so, so much better than that. And yet, Yan An was still afraid. Irrationally afraid, but still.

 

“Hey, you’re starting to freak me out with all these long silences,” Changgu said, a nervous tone carried in the undertow of his words, quiet. So quiet, and always caring. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Yeah,” Yan An reaffirmed quietly, softly. Changgu kissed him, chaste, no heat behind his actions. Just to show him he was there. “A date this weekend sounds... nice.”

 

“Do you want me to figure it out?” Changgu said. “I think the amusement park just reopened.”

 

“An amusement park _re-_ opening doesn’t sound safe.” Yan An grimaced. Changgu snorted with laughter.

 

“They closed it to build a new ride. Remember? A new rollercoaster?”

 

Yan An almost grimaced again, but nodded instead.

 

“Or.... Oh, wait a second, didn’t you say your friend was throwing a party this weekend?”

 

Yan An pursed his lips with thought, smiling when Changgu pecked his lips and pulled away.

 

“Right, Hyojong said he was throwing one....”

 

“For what?”

 

“Because he’s Hyojong,” Yan An answered. Changgu laughed. “He throws one every other weekend. I don’t think he knows how to do anything else _but_ party.”

 

“Well... we could go to that?”

 

Yan An hesitated, taking a moment to think about the party. Drinking and socializing, and maybe dancing, but the idea just wasn’t sticking, so he shook his head.

 

“A picnic?” Changgu suggested. “It’s hot out, but we could go at sunset....”

 

“The amusement park.”

 

Changgu paused. “Hm?”

 

“Let’s go to the amusement park,” Yan An elaborated. “That’s okay.”

 

“Are you sure?” Changgu said. Yan An nodded. “I’ll make all the plans, then! I’ll buy our tickets, and... we could take your car? I’m sorry, there’s something wrong with mine. It barely makes it to work and back. I’ve been meaning to get it fixed, but....”

 

“Of course.” Yan An placated Changgu with a kiss, warm and tender. “I’ll buy the tickets, too.”

 

“Ah, I’ll feel bad if you buy the tickets _and_ drive us there.... Please, at least let me pay for something.”

 

“You can keep lying here with me,” Yan An reasoned, to which Changgu blushed. “Make it up to me in kisses.”

 

“I was planning on kissing you anyways.” Changgu hummed, snaking his arms around Yan An’s body and pulling him close. “My cute boyfriend.”

 

“My cute best friend,” Yan An replied, Changgu flushing bright red, from the tips of his ears to the bridge of his nose. “Kiss me one more time before I have to get ready for work.”

 

“I’ll kiss you while you’re getting ready for work, too,” Changgu teased, but planted a warm kiss on Yan An’s waiting lips, watched as Yan An slipped out of bed, and made comments here and there while Yan An forced himself to get dressed for the workday.

  


**

  


“What I’m getting from this is that you’re not coming to my party,” Hyojong began, handing Yan An a pile of boxes and moving to take the other beside him, starting to break down the boxes one by one before tossing them in the general direction of the garbage behind the shop.

 

“Can’t you take this seriously?” Yan An huffed out, though he wasn’t actually irritated with Hyojong. More irritated with himself.

 

“It’s not really a matter to be taken seriously,” Hyojong replied. “You don’t like rollercoasters, so just tell Changgu that.”

 

“But... but he was really excited to go.”

 

“It sounds like he was just offering up the idea,” Hyojong reasoned. “You’re worrying yourself over nothing. Tell him you don’t want to go, and then figure out someplace else to go on your date.”

 

Yan An pouted, visibly frustrated that Hyojong was taking things so simply, especially after Yan An had explained how Changgu was smiling when he mentioned the amusement park, as if that wasn’t reason enough for Yan An to not want to change his mind. Changgu _wanted_ to go. That was why Yan An agreed so easily!

 

Despite his... less than enthusiastic attitude towards rollercoasters (see: Yan An had nightmares about rollercoasters as a child), Yan An was more than willing to endure the amusement park, if only for Changgu, if only for a few moments where they could be together (before Yan An would have to run to the bathroom and throw up whatever food he had eaten).

 

“Look,” Hyojong said, more annoyed that Yan An wasn’t breaking up the boxes in front of him than the fact that he was having some intense inner crisis over a date that wasn’t even set in stone yet, “if you don’t want to change the date so bad, then just avoid going on the rollercoasters when you’re there.”

 

“You say that like it’s an _easy_ thing.” Yan An sighed.

 

“It’s really easy. For example: right before you two get on a rollercoaster, say you have to go to the bathroom. Tell him it’ll be quick, and then leave. He’ll go on it alone, and you won’t have to go on.” Hyojong paused, humming quietly. “Or when they’re putting people in the cars, just “somehow” get separated from him. I mean, it’s not _that_ hard.”

 

“Are you speaking from experience or something?” Yan An teased. Hyojong laughed.

 

“I actually did hate rollercoasters when I was younger. I got over it eventually, but I used those excuses when I went. Oh, and I would “suddenly” get hungry, like... all the time. I swear, I gained ten pounds every time we went to the amusement park. That was my go-to excuse when I didn’t want to go on the rides.” Hyojong sniffled and shrugged his shoulders, urging Yan An to finish breaking down his pile of boxes. “But in reality, nobody gives a shit if you don’t like rollercoasters or not. If you’re scared of them, you’re scared of them. It’s not a big deal.”

 

“But Yuto made fun of me for it earlier!” Yan An whined.

 

“Yuto also cried when we found a baby bird in the gutters, remember?”

 

“I can hear you!” Yuto shouted through the door, poking his head out as Yan An jumped and Hyojong laughed. “And for your information, I cried because I thought it was _dead.”_

 

“Sure you did, you big sap,” Hyojong replied, Yuto’s face going red with embarrassment before he closed the door and locked them both out. “Damn it, now we have to go the long way around to get back in the store.”

 

“At least you’ll get to see that guy you’ve been crushing on at the smoothie shop?”

 

“Oh, you’re right! Hurry up with your boxes, then!”

  


**

  


Yan An came home to a flurry of messages on details of the amusement park date. Changgu had already purchased their tickets, much to Yan An’s dismay. Littered in the messages were reminders that they would get there semi-early, as the lines were better in the day (“Wear sunscreen, or you’ll get a sunburn! ♥”), and they’d stay a little later, as they had a fireworks event to celebrate the grand re-opening of the park.

 

Yan An didn’t have the heart to break it to Changgu that the lines would probably end up being bad anyway, as it _was_ the first week the park was reopened. No doubt, the place would be packed to the brim with teenagers just out of school, people off of work, families, kids— hell, even celebrities may come, if only to escape their busy schedules for a moment.

 

And so, Yan An sent back a confirmation text, a smile at the end of his message as he slumped down on his old couch and caught the faintest scent of Changgu on the throw pillow beside him.

  


**

  


The park was actually about a half hour away from Yan An’s apartment, and including the time it took him to get to Changgu’s apartment from his own, _and_ the ridiculous amount of traffic on the freeway, it was looking like onwards of an hour and a half of driving time to get to this amusement park.

 

Every second felt like _hell,_ like absolute _hell,_ and Yan An could feel his palms warming up against the steering wheel every time Changgu smiled and leaned on his shoulder, mumbling something along the lines of, “We’re almost there, sorry it’s taking so long, Anie,” before pressing a kiss to his shoulder and moving back in his seat.

 

Yan An fiddled with the radio, messed with his seat, put his window down, only to complain about the heat in the bumper to bumper traffic, which was gradually beginning to move, only serving to make Yan An’s heart beat a million times faster. Changgu noticed all of these things, his eyes landing on Yan An as his boyfriend fanned himself and made a low comment, something barely audible, so Changgu leaned forward and pulled Yan An’s attention towards him.

 

“You don’t have to be so nervous,” Changgu commented. Yan An swallowed thickly.

 

“S-sorry. It’s just....”

 

Changgu waited patiently, his eyes searching for some hint in Yan An’s expression, something to explain why he was acting so weird. After a moment, Yan An sighed and shook his head.

 

“I’m just excited to get there.”

 

The grin that tugged at the corners of Changgu’s lips made Yan An’s heart ache, like the sweetest of pain, and to be completely honest, he was sure he didn’t mind suffering through a rollercoaster ride for him at all.

 

Soon enough, Yan An found themselves pulling up in a parking space, Changgu excitedly unbuckling his seatbelt and hopping out of the car faster than Yan An could gather himself or his nerves up. His heart was racing, palms still warm, legs shaky as he stepped out of the car and followed Changgu to the front gate of the park.

 

Then they were well on their way inside of the park, through overflowing amounts of people standing in line for food, drinks, the bathrooms, and— oh, look, there was the new rollercoaster Changgu was talking about. It was shiny, brand new, the colors vibrant, with people already racing through the tracks as they shrieked with delight (though to Yan An, it sounded like a horror movie massacre).

 

“We should go on the boat ride first!” Changgu pointed in the direction of a map. “And then you can pick a ride you want to go on. These maps are all over the park, so we can just decide from where we are.” Changgu turned to Yan An, a smile still painted on his pink lips as he pointed towards the new rollercoaster. “But we’ll go on that one last, okay?”

 

“O-oh.”

 

Yan An swallowed harder against the dryness in his throat.

 

“What? Do you want to go on it sooner?” Changgu said, to which Yan An panicked and threw his hands up in front of him.

 

“No! No, no, that’s fine. At the end is totally fine.”

 

Changgu nodded his head and started tugging Yan An along the way, keeping him close while they laced their pinkies together and never strayed too far from one another.

 

Yan An stopped at a small booth and won a stuffed toy, teasing Changgu with it by saying it was actually for himself, not Changgu, who just pouted and played the game on his own. Changgu won a bigger stuffed animal, grinning stupidly big when Yan An pouted and said he “didn’t even like monkeys anyway, so you can keep this stupid little one, too”, and shoved the pink plush he won into Changgu’s chest with a little huffed laugh.

 

Yan An ignored his phone going off with notifications in his pocket, even as they went on the ferris wheel and took a selfie together while Changgu looked over the edge and commented about “how high they were”. Yan An didn’t even want to think about it. Being on a ferris wheel was less traumatic than a roller coaster, since he didn’t have to inherently think about how high he was, how high they _both_ were. He could just look at Changgu.

 

Hyojong’s first trick came in handy when Changgu pointed to a different rollercoaster— not the new one just yet. The line wasn’t too long, and Changgu was excited to hear the shrieks of delight and excitement when people reached the top of the ride, only to plummet down and into a loop, and _god,_ just the idea of being on it made Yan An’s heart lurch in his chest. But he smiled when Changgu asked if they could go on it, stood in line beside him.

 

“You look nervous!” Changgu teased. Yan An tried to pretend like he hadn’t just jumped at the sound of Changgu’s voice, and instead, gave a small laugh.

 

“What? Nervous of what?”

 

“I dunno! Just nervous,” Changgu poked Yan An in his ribs. Yan An poked him back. The line started to move, and they were _close._

 

Yan An took a deep breath, looking over Changgu and the others in line. “Actually, I really gotta use the bathroom.”

 

“Right _now?”_ Changgu said. Yan An nearly cringed at the dissatisfied tone of his voice, but he nodded and peered over Changgu again. There wasn’t a bathroom in sight, but he was sure he could run to the map and “find” one so he could hide away from Changgu until he got on the ride without Yan An. “We’re almost on the ride!”

 

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to hold it,” Yan An said, crossing and uncrossing his legs for effect, though he wasn’t quite sure if it came across that way to Changgu. Changgu pouted.

 

“Hurry?” He said, a little helpless, before Yan An nodded and ran out of the semi-crowded line.

 

After ten long minutes of Yan An staring at the map and scrambling away to a bathroom that was too far and far from the rollercoaster, Yan An breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against a wall and holding his hand against his chest. This was so embarrassing. Yan An couldn’t believe he let Hyojong talk him into this. The way Changgu looked so disheartened was enough to make Yan An regret every single part of agreeing to this date. Really— how hard would it have been to admit that he just didn’t like rollercoasters? Would it have been harder than this?

 

And another ten minutes passed before Yan An finally walked back to the ride, found Changgu standing at the map where Yan An had “found the bathroom”, both stuffed animals in hand. As soon as Yan An walked up, he smiled, albeit with a hesitance that made Yan An’s heart flinch.

 

“Ah, I went on the ride. I’m sorry,” said Changgu, Yan An waving his hand. “You feeling okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Yan An let out a sigh of relief when Changgu smiled at him genuinely now. “Yeah, just... my stomach got a little upset. It might’ve been something I ate last night.”

 

“What— like food poisoning?” Changgu furrowed his brows. “Should we leave?”

 

“No!” Yan An pulled Changgu into his arms, turning him around so his back was pressed against Yan An’s chest, and waddling along with him as Changgu let out quiet giggles and nudged him away with every few steps. “What ride next?”

 

Changgu hummed pensively, tapping his fingers against his chin before pointing to a different ride— not a rollercoaster, but a ride that spun so fast, it made Yan An’s head spin at the idea alone, but he could handle spinning. He could handle that. As long as his feet were on the ground (or the ride... whatever), he could definitely handle that.

 

“You sure you’re feeling all right?” Changgu checked once more. Yan An smiled and pecked a kiss on Changgu’s left temple, a blush tinging the tips of his ears as Changgu let out a yell and chased after Yan An, who was already sprinting away towards the line of the ride.

  


**

  


“Again?” Changgu let out a dissatisfied hum as Yan An jutted his thumb over his shoulder and said he had to use the restroom once more, the two literally at the front of the line of a wooden rollercoaster. The sound of the ride creaking and groaning as the cars flew by made Yan An’s stomach drop. _Death would be easier than this,_ Yan An thought with every few steps they took.

 

“I... yeah. The food we ate earlier— it really went through me.”

 

Changgu pouted, pushing the stuffed animals into Yan An’s arms. At first, Changgu had been able to hide his distaste, or rather, his disappointment for the fact that Yan An so conveniently had excuses for running away at the very last moment, but now he was tired, and seemingly upset— and he definitely wasn’t disguising it now.

 

“Feels like I’m alone on this date, you know.” Changgu hummed and nodded. “Just wait by the map after you’re done. I’ll look for you after the ride’s over.”

 

Yan An, too embarrassed to argue or even defend himself, just nodded and walked away with a furious blush completely covering the tips of his ears to the bridge of his nose, along the apples of his cheeks. He wasn’t even angry at Changgu for being upset. Yan An just felt... guilty. Guilty that he had complained about not going on enough dates, only to chicken out like this and completely avoid Changgu and his love for amusement parks like the plague.

 

If this were anybody else, Yan An wouldn’t have minded telling them he didn’t care about amusement parks and/or completely bailing on them, but....

 

This wasn’t anybody else. It was Changgu, and there was something so fleetingly nostalgic about being on this date that made Yan An sick to his stomach.

 

What happened to the Yan An that took chances and asked out Changgu on their first date, despite not knowing how it would turn out? What happened to the Yan An that stumbled and slid around on the ice of a skating rink, if only to feel like he had a chance at making this— this absolutely perfect, kind, sweet human being smile at him, smile _with_ him? Where was the Yan An that cupped Changgu’s cheek, caressed his fingers down his throat while he leaned in for a kiss and pretended that his heart wasn’t racing at an inhuman speed in his chest?

 

This time, Yan An really did have to use the restroom. His hands were sweaty again, knees feeling shaky as he took a few cautious steps into the restroom, completely ignoring the people already in there and leaning over the sink to splash water across his face. It wasn’t even that hot outside, and the sun was already setting, but there he was, suffocating from nostalgia and desperation.

 

Yan An’s overactive imagination told him that this was it— the beginning of the end, the inevitable plateau in their relationship that would lead to an awkward breakup and a promise to “just stay friends”; where they would only contact each other on work holidays and maybe wish one another happy birthday, and delete half written messages to each other on their anniversary, even though they were long since broken up.

 

Out of some sheer need to hear a grounding (and somewhat obnoxious) voice, Yan An pulled his phone from his pocket and walked back outside, stuffed animals in tow, sitting down in the shade of the restroom building and isolating himself if only for a moment.

 

The phone hardly rang twice before Hyojong answered Yan An’s call.

 

“Date going _that_ bad?” Hyojong said immediately. Yan An hummed, pulling his knees to his chest and letting out an all-too-telling noise that made Hyojong drop his amused tone. “Yan An?”

 

“I think he’s getting tired of me, hyung.”

 

“What, like— tired of you running away from the rollercoasters? I don’t blame him.”

 

“No.... Like, he’s tired of me.” Yan An tried to clarify, but the words just wouldn’t come. Thankfully, Hyojong seemed to catch on on his own.

  


“Yeo Changgu?” Hyojong said. “Tired of _you?_ Yeo Changgu, the one that thinks you shit gold and worships the ground you walk on? The same Changgu? That’s the one we’re talking about, right?”

 

Yan An sniffled, and felt his eyes welling up— god, this was so _embarrassing._

 

“Yan An, are you crying?!” Hyojong’s tone was incredulous. “Did he break up with you? I’ll beat his ass, honestly—”

 

“No, he’s just... disappointed,” mumbled Yan An, pressing the flats of his palms to his eyes and wiping away the little tears that pooled in the corners of his eyes. Cursed be the day Yan An let somebody see him crying in public— not that he had anything against it, but he did have his pride.

 

“Wouldn’t any normal human be disappointed to go on a date with their boyfriend, only to find out he’s terrified of going on rollercoasters, but not as much as he’s terrified of admitting it to you?”

 

The shock of the words sent a chill down Yan An’s spine, and he took a moment to process what it was Hyojong had said. As if knowing that Yan An needed more of an explanation, Hyojong continued.

 

“You two are so young,” Hyojong prefaced with a sigh. “Changgu probably thinks you’re avoiding spending time with him, not avoiding rollercoasters. That’s why he’s bummed. Probably thinks that you went on the date out of pity, not because you actually wanted to go on a date with him.”

 

“But—!” Yan An sniffled again and regained his voice. “I’m the one that asked him on this date!”

 

“The mind works in mysterious ways, Yan An. I mean, look at yourself. You’re hiding from Changgu, sitting someplace that probably _isn’t_ clean, crying because you’ve convinced yourself that Changgu is gonna dump your ass for not wanting to go on a rollercoaster. Sound logical to you?”

 

Yan An took a moment to respond, his lips pursed in a pout, “...no.”

 

“‘Course it isn’t logical, because your brain isn’t thinking that way. You’re Yan An, you have a tendency to overthink things, especially when it comes to Changgu since he’s your....” Hyojong trailed off, and Yan An could practically visualize how Hyojong would gesture vaguely in the air, as if that was explanation alone. _Your boyfriend, your first boyfriend in a long time, your best friend, the only person who’s ever wanted to meet your family, your—_ “You get the gist,” finished Hyojong.

 

“Yeah,” Yan An admitted sheepishly.

 

“Stop being so afraid of Changgu and just go out there and admit it like anybody would.” Hyojong took a moment to contemplate his words. “Changgu will probably just laugh and think you’re cute or something— I dunno, you two are gross. Then you can leave and go someplace you actually want to be without thinking about puking the whole time.”

 

Yan An laughed, wiping his eyes with the back of his arm and taking a moment to calm himself.

 

“Thank you, hyung.”

 

“Yep,” replied Hyojong easily before hanging up and leaving Yan An to stupidly knock his head back against the building behind him with a sigh, disappointed in himself now. How could he have thought so awfully of Changgu? How could he have thought that even for a second, Changgu would be so shallow as to dump him because their _dates_ weren’t fun anymore? Was he an idiot?

 

(The answer was yes, he was, and no, he didn’t need anybody else to point it out... except for maybe Hyojong.)

 

There was a newfound pep in Yan An’s step when he rose to his feet and started back towards the ride he left Changgu at earlier. Halfway there, Yan An could already see Changgu standing at the map, staring down at his phone before he took a moment to look up, meeting Yan An’s gaze and giving him a weak smile.

 

Yan An powered through the disappointment that flooded his chest at the sight and instead, walked up to Changgu, took a deep breath in, and cupped Changgu’s cheek to lean in and kiss him. Changgu let out a loud, surprised noise, flushing furiously at the action and lightly punching Yan An in the shoulder when he pulled away.

 

“We’re in public!”

 

“I don’t care!” Yan An proclaimed, before taking a moment to think and furrow his brows. “I mean— unless you care. In which case, I do care— a lot!” Another hesitation. “Actually, I don’t mind at all! I really liked kissing you, and I’m gonna do it again.”

 

“What’s gotten _into_ you?” Changgu said, but giggled as Yan An peppered kisses along his cheeks, hid his face in the crook of Changgu’s neck as he hunched over and felt Changgu pull him close. “Maybe all the sun got to your head.... Should we head home?”

 

“No!” Yan An shouted once more, and Changgu let out a laugh when the people walking past them gave Yan An odd stares before leaving. A beet red blush spread across Yan An’s cheeks when he realized just how loud he was being. “I mean.... Changgu, I have to tell you something.”

 

“What? Do you have to use the bathroom again?”

 

“No—” Yan An choked on his answer when he noticed Changgu snickering happily. “Oh, be quiet! I’m not— I-I’ve been lying to you today, but not about something super serious, but I think you think it’s serious, and we need to clarify that it’s _not_ serious, because it’s _not—”_

 

Changgu cupped Yan An’s cheeks, his finger cool against Yan An’s heated skin as he stumbled to a halt over his words and took a deep breath in. Changgu smiled gently, so calmly, so comfortably— Yan An felt his heart swell at the sight alone.

 

“Changgu, I’m scared of rollercoasters.”

 

Changgu pursed his lips, squinting at Yan An before shrugging.

 

“That’s okay.”

 

“I’m... I really hate them.” Yan An flushed darker.

 

“Yeah... it was a little obvious.” Changgu gave a small smile. “After the first few bathroom breaks, I kinda figured it out on my own.”

 

“But I— I really did want to come on this date with you. I wanted to be here with you. I really, really want to spend time with you.”

 

“Ah, Yan An, it’s okay.” Changgu said lowly. “You don’t have to force it.”

 

“No, I—!”

 

Yan An let out a frustrated groan and rubbed his hands over his eyes, pulling away for just a moment. When he opened his eyes, he realized the sun was already setting, the pink and purple hues of the sky gradually shifting to wispy cloud covered night skies.

 

“I want to spend time with you. I always think about spending time with you, Changgu.”

 

Yan An had finally gathered his thoughts enough to turn back to Changgu, who was nervously twisting the bottom of his shirt in his hands.

 

“Even when I’m supposed to be doing other stuff, I’m thinking about you. It’s ridiculous. It’s so much sometimes. I’ll tell myself that I’m just thinking about you too much, but another part of me can’t help it. I like thinking about you. I....” Yan An nervously rubbed his hands on his jeans, hating that he was still nervous admitting it sometimes. “I love you.”

 

Changgu blushed, which was to be expected. He always blushed when Yan An said it out loud, instead of showing through his actions.

 

“I was worried you were getting... bored,” Yan An admitted a moment later, “of me. Of what we do— or what we don’t do, sometimes. I don’t want you to be bored.” Yan An began prattling off things that didn’t matter, his heart suddenly feeling heavy in his chest. “Hyojong always talks about taking out that guy he likes and spending money on him, showing him the world and stuff like that, and I just... thought that I wasn’t giving you the same.”

 

“Oh,” Changgu said, voice flooding with tenderness as he pulled Yan An closer. Yan An already wanted to hide his face in his hands, try and avoid his own embarrassment. “You’re so....”

 

“Stupid,” Yan An supplied.

 

“You’re so precious to me, Yan An.” Changgu swept his hand across Yan An’s cheek.

 

Yan An and Changgu bumped into each other as an audience of people rushed past them, a few hushed murmurs of _fireworks!_ spreading through them as they ran away, towards a different area while Yan An glanced down towards Changgu.

 

“Hyojong said we’re both so young.”

 

Changgu laughed out loud at that, leaning his forehead against Yan An’s chest and letting out a quiet sigh of content. Yan An could practically feel the relief washing over Changgu’s body, as his muscles went lax and he felt oh-so small in Yan An’s arms.

 

“He’s not wrong.” Changgu finally spoke after letting all his nervous giggles out, his hands holding tightly to Yan An’s shirt and finally looking up at him.

 

“We’re both pretty ridiculous, huh?”

 

Yan An nodded. Changgu thought he could suffocate alone on the soft tenderness in his smile, the way his lips curved with a grin.

 

The first pop of the fireworks scared the both of them, the two flinching and letting out excited laughter as they turned and saw the first glimmers of light exploding, spreading across the sky, and then dimming just as quickly as they had appeared. The chorused _ooh’s_ from the crowd just a little ways away made Changgu giggle.

 

“Why the fireworks, you think?”

 

“Hm... the grand reopening, maybe?” Changgu pursed his lips in thought.

 

Yan An leaned down and pecked a kiss on his lips too quick for it to register, but still a kiss.

 

“Yan Anie, are you going to romance me under fireworks?” Changgu teased, poking Yan An in the side. “That’s corny, you know.”

 

“I’m allowed,” Yan An said before pulling Changgu in by his waist, tipping his head just slightly with the touch of his finger under Changgu’s chin, kissing him with a quiet hum of relief. Changgu slid his hands up Yan An’s chest, slipping his arms around his neck and pulling him down just a touch closer, just enough for Changgu to press his forehead against Yan An’s own and feel the faintest flutter of his lashes against the arch of his cheekbone.

 

“Too tall,” Changgu mumbled against Yan An’s lips. “Gotta stretch too much to kiss you.”

 

“It’s a good workout for you,” replied Yan An, only to earn another jab to his side.

 

“I’ll kiss all the brat out of you.”

 

“Might take a lot of kisses.”

 

Changgu pecked one more kiss on Yan An’s cheek. “I got a lot to give.”

 

Yan An let out a gentle huff of a laugh.

 

“So... how about next week, we go on a date someplace we both actually like?” Changgu proposed. Yan An nodded, still embarrassed, but definitely not feeling the shame he thought he’d feel from this situation, from confessing how afraid he was of rollercoasters, and moreover, of boring Changgu.

 

Changgu traced his fingertips across the soft surface of Yan An’s worn down t-shirt, threads hanging from the seams as Changgu tugged one off and made a quiet comment about him needing new clothes, though Changgu would be the first to admit he was ridiculously cute in his torn clothes and run down jeans. _Makes me look fashionable,_ Yan An said once, to which Changgu agreed and pinched his cheeks.

 

“It’s a date,” Yan An said.

 

“Good,” Changgu paused and rested his head against Yan An’s chest, holding onto him with a lingering fondness and hoping Yan An could feel every ounce of love in his being through his touch alone.

  


**

  


There was rustling again. Yan An could feel the sheets around him shifting and moving with movement, but there were no snores. Just the sound of his own breathing, steady, deep, tired and still riddled with sleep.

 

Changgu’s honeyed voice was the second.

 

“Anie,” he sang, voice soft and comforting as Yan An felt the bed dip beside him. “Time to wake up.”

 

Yan An grumbled, groused from his sleep and buried his face closer in the pillow underneath him.

 

“C’mon, you big oaf,” said Changgu, trailing his fingers along Yan An’s back, tickling the nape of his neck and earning a squirm of protest. “Gotta clean the apartment today.”

 

Yan An huffed softly, turning over on his back and staring up at Changgu, whose face was still puffy from sleep. He couldn’t have been up for too long, but his breath smelled faintly of coffee and an undertone of toothpaste. Sleep softened his features even more than usual, like a kid waking up from a nap. Yan An couldn’t help but kiss him.

 

“You’ve got morning breath.” Changgu grimaced, but didn’t protest when Yan An pulled him in for another one. “Oh, I see what you’re trying to do.”

 

“What’s that?” Yan An smiled. He was never a good liar anyways.

 

“You’re trying to distract me from our date today. Nice try, Anie, but it’s not going to work.”

 

Changgu rolled off of the bed, pulling the half taken-off sheets of the bed out from underneath Yan An and earning a whine of protest as Yan An wrapped himself up in Changgu’s blanket. God, Yan An was starting to spend so much time at Changgu’s place, that even his blankets were starting to smell like him.

 

“What kind of date is spring cleaning anyway? It’s not even spring, Changgu!”

 

“Hm.... It’s a good date, because my apartment gets cleaned, and I get to see you walking around sweaty in the apartment. Sounds like a win-win situation to me.”

 

“For you!” Yan An poked his head out from his blanket burrito with a pout.

 

“I’ll make it worth your while!” Changgu replied, hopping onto the bed and crawling over Yan An’s blanket covered figure. “I’ll even treat you to dinner tonight.”

 

“Cheap takeout on your couch?”

 

“Of _course.”_ Changgu tapped his finger against Yan An’s nose with a sly smile. “I’ll even get you _two_ egg rolls.”

 

“Wow, you are so lame,” Yan An deadpanned. Changgu burst into a fit of giggles, leaning over and resting his head on Yan An’s chest as he shook with laughter.

 

“Okay.... How many kisses to convince you to help me clean up, then?”

 

Yan An hummed, pretending to think on it for a moment while Changgu waited patiently, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout.

 

“Maybe just for the rest of our lives.”

 

Changgu rolled his eyes before nodding his head.

 

“I mean, I _guess_ if that’s what it takes....”

 

“I’ve heard I’m a very good kisser,” Yan An continued, earning a punch to his shoulder.

 

“Your source is a liar.” Changgu laughed even more when Yan An flipped them over, now covering Changgu with the blankets and pinning him down to the bed. “This isn’t fair at all— you’re stronger than I am, you cheater!”

 

“I don’t think it’s my fault you have noodle arms.”

 

Changgu gasped. “Noodle arms— how dare you!”

 

Yan An pecked a kiss on Changgu’s lips and waited for the sputter of denial, still playfully arguing and joking around. After a moment of silence followed, Yan An noticed a smug smile on the corners of Changgu’s lips. Despite the pink blush on his face, he looked absolutely devilish. Yan An cocked a brow and squinted at him, suspicious.

 

“Bet this beats rollercoasters any day, huh?”

 

Yan An scoffed incredulously, but couldn’t help joining Changgu’s raucous laughter and hiding his face in the crook of Changgu’s neck. He was so warm, so unbelievably comforting. Yan An couldn’t believe he doubted this for a moment— couldn’t believe he doubted Changgu for even a split second. The way his lips curved around his name was almost as heart stopping as it was when Changgu whispered, “I love you,” in quiet moments.

 

“Definitely beats rollercoasters,” Yan An replied happily.

 

That, at the very least, Yan An was sure of.

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO thank u for reading ;;;; let me know if u found any typos or if i mixed up any names~ it was edited once and also beta read by my [best friend](http://archiveofourown.org/users/jinhoes) but u kno,,,, sometimes stuff slips thru,,,,, thank u again for reading~ ♥
> 
> talk to me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/iIyssssm) or [tumblr](http://ilyssssm.tumblr.com/)!!


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